Getting a job can be exhilarating for you, especially when you love what you do. Going out to your workplace, solving problems from your work desk and meeting new people can be very exciting and can quickly become something you look forward to every day. While you may not be doing anything to attract any form of sexual harassment, it is important to understand that it can happen to just anybody. It is imperative that you handle the matter as soon as it occurs in order to ensure that your physical, mental and emotional health is not affected by it.
Dealing with sexual harassment as a man is totally different from dealing with it as a woman. This is because, while girls are afraid of such unwanted advances, society expects men to view it as a compliment to their manliness. Most guys who have been sexually harassed do not even recognize it as what it is. They just “go with the flow” and end up falling as victims because they don’t want to be called names for refusing sexual advances from a woman.
Let me break down what sexual harassment is in simple terms.
In opposition to the popular belief that sexual harassment occurs only when your body is touched inappropriately, sexual harassment actually encompasses any unwelcome sexual advances. It cuts across any requests for sexual favors and other verbal or physical behaviors of a sexual nature.
When such conduct affects the employment status of the victim or interferes with their work performance or creates an intimidating, hostile or offensive work environment it is described as sexual harassment at the work place.
Any unwanted sexual advances or sexual statements that are severe enough to cause the victim to feel intimidated or consider the workplace hostile and uncomfortable or abusive is considered sexual harassment. If someone looks at you inappropriately for too long or makes a sexual statement involving your appearance, instigates unwanted suggestive phone calls, emails or text messages or uses inappropriate languages to address you, jokes about sex, rape or assault, these behaviors in the workplace are all considered as sexual harassment in the work place.
While we may be familiar with the incident of unwanted sexual relationships being demanded from females as a requirement fora job or a promotion, the idea of males being sexually harassed at the workplace may seem a little off to others. However, I want to bring to your notice that it happens to a lot of guys. The only difference however, is that they do not report the situation. They just take it in stride.
Here is a guide to help guys deal with sexual harassment in the work place.
1. Recognize it for what it is: If you do not know what it is, or are unable to identify what it is, then you cannot deal with the situation accordingly. It is sexual harassment! It is not right for someone to touch you inappropriately. Your boss has no right to demand sex in order for you to get a promotion. Sex is not part of your job description. From the explanation regarding what sexual harassment is, you should already know better.
2. Admit it: This is the step a lot of guys throw off. The fact that a guy identifies an inappropriate behaviour doesn’t mean he would admit it is inappropriate. Admitting has to do with telling yourself that this thing is not normal. Telling yourself that it is not a compliment of your masculinity. Once you are able to do this, then you are on the right track to dealing with it in the most mature and best way possible.
3. Let them know you do not like it: The key word in sexual harassment is “unwanted”. Let them know you don’t want such emails, let them know you do not want to be touched in such a manner. Let them know you do not like comments or jokes filled with sexual innuendos. There is nothing wrong with verbally declining the unwanted advances of a young lady. Whether or not she is pretty.
4. Saying no doesn’t make you weak: Saying no doesn’t make you weak. Saying you are uninterested doesn’t make you less of a man. Your mental, physical and emotional state at all times is more important than showing that you are a “real man”. If anything, declining the unwanted advances from an employer shows that you are self-aware.
5. Make a report: Once you have told the perpetrators that you are not interested in their advances and they still insist, make a report. If you work with a company that has processes to report sexual harassment, then follow due process. If the harasser is the person you are meant to report to, you can report to a far higher authority. Alternatively, you can report to a law enforcement agency or talk to your lawyer about it.
Sexual harassment is an uncomfortable thing to experience especially in the workplace. There are laws that protect you from being sexually harassed in a place you work. Do not ever think you are weak for saying no or reporting to a higher authority. Report such cases and let justice be served.
As a young person, you are taught to save; put those little chunks of extra money you have into your savings account. That’s supposed to be enough. No one ever pushes you to invest plus, the small profit margin in it is not always enticing but, do you know that starting your investment journey at a young age is one of the best things you can do for yourself?
Why you might ask?
It’s simple! When saving, you are simply putting the money away maybe for emergencies and other things but when investing, you are not just putting the money aside, you are also putting the money to work for you by putting it in ventures or using it to buy things that will increase its value.
Now you may be saying ‘I’ll get to that later, I’m still in college so I don’t have to worry about that now’, well you actually do. Ever heard the phrase ‘the earlier, the better’? It’s true!
But why? You may ask. Why start early on investments? What is the need you want to desperately meet that demands you put your money to work for you now?
Let’s look at a few.
Build Healthy Wealth: growing your money
Investing your money can allow you to grow it. Most investment vehicles, such as stocks, certificates of deposit, or bonds, offer returns on your money over the long term. This return allows your money to build, creating wealth over time.
Planing for the future: Save for retirement
As a student or part of the workforce, you should be saving money for retirement. Put your retirement savings into a portfolio of investments, such as stocks, bonds, mutual funds, real estate, businesses, or precious metals. Then, at retirement age, you can live off funds earned from these investments.
In order to grow your money, you need to put it in a place where it can earn a high rate of return. The higher the rate of return, the more money you will earn. Investment vehicles tend to offer the opportunity to earn higher rates of return than savings accounts. Therefore, if you want the chance to earn a higher return on your money, you will need to explore investing your money.
Based on your personal tolerance of risk, you may want to consider being riskier at a younger age with your investments. Greater risk increases your chances of earning greater wealth. Becoming more conservative with your investments as you grow older can be wise, especially as you near retirement age.
Reach financial goals faster
Investing can help you reach big financial goals. If your money is earning a higher rate of return than a savings account, you will be earning more money both over the long term and within a faster period. This return on your investments can be used toward major financial goals, such as buying a home, buying a car, starting your own business, or putting your children through college.
The Adventure; Be part of a new venture
New ventures need the backing of money, and they look to investors for that backing. Some investors may like the excitement of investing in a new, cutting-edge product or service or being part of something like a business or film that introduces them to a glamorous world.
Today, everyone is attached to at least one form of social media.
From Twitter fingers to Instagram Models, we all love our social media. Unfortunately, this doesn’t change the fact that most social media users need extra cash. Luckily, social media can be a good source of income.
Social media for business is pretty common these days but do you know you can search for and get a job using your social media account(s)?
Let’s run through our options, shall we?
This was always going to be the first option on this list. It is literally tagged social media for professionals. You can find job openings, apply for jobs and even generate a Resume from your LinkedIn profile.
Ok, I know it sounds cliché but you have to give Facebook its props. In recent years, Facebook has been becoming the most multiple dimensional social media platform and now has job openings and applications like LinkedIn.
Visual Digital Media
Welcome to the less conventional social media job hunt platform. Post about your achievements every once in a while, your friends are the best reference you’ll ever get.
No one knows what you can do unless you tell them, over.. and over again.
For example, if you get the employee of the month award at work, post about it and write out why you did.
And if you are having a normal day at the office, post about it and use the opportunity to remind everyone what you do. Always have a positive outlook on social media.
It might surprise you to know; companies search your social media pages when you apply for a job.
The most multi-layered social media platform without contest. You will find more job openings on Twitter than any other platform, by following the right pages.
Follow companies you want to work with and companies similar to the ones you want to work with, follow job hashtags, and most importantly clean up your social media opinions.
People have lost big jobs because of posts from 5 years ago.
Remember the Internet never forgets.
Have you heard of cold calls, well in the digital age we have cold dms.
Direct message companies and send them your resume and links to your portfolio.
And when you believe you have sent your details to enough accounts, send some more.
This is where the need for cleaning up your page comes in handy because when these companies take you seriously, they check your page. Hopefully, they will like what they see.
In life, things would not always go as planned. There would always be times of uncertainty, worry or danger. And during such times, it is important that you maintain a healthy mind by staying positive and productive.
When you are in the middle of a crisis, whether as a result of family issues, financial issues, health challenges, global or national crisis as a result of plagues, pandemic or war, you may find yourself feeling unmotivated, as though the problem has come to stay and will never be over.
As humans, it is natural to have an episode of fear and negative thoughts in our heads when things are not going the way we planned. And with so much negativity and fear, it really becomes extremely difficult to concentrate on the things that are important like your job, family, health and even yourself. It would seem extremely hard to move forward with your normal schedule, going about the task set out to be achieved would seem unnecessarily hard and many would feel unproductive, lost and may even fall into depression.
You must realize that a challenge, no matter how big it may seem is not the end of the world.
It is important that you understand that bad things happen and soon enough, a way out of the situation would present itself. You shouldn’t let your life run into chaos because of one thing that went wrong. Think on all the good things that may have happened in the last few days. Focus on a way out of the situation instead of drowning in it. You should be able to create more value in your personal and professional life even during a crisis.
Don’t forget, if you leave your source of income unattended to because you are sad and emotionally drained, soon enough you would go broke. Your boss wouldn’t continue paying someone who does nothing for the company and if you are your own boss, your clients or customers will no longer seek your services because you no longer deliver as expected. You would have no money to feed, pay tuition or afford other services. You need to make money. Therefore, you have to bounce back.
These are a few ways you can stay positive and productive during a crisis.
Take it slow: you are not feeling 100% emotionally. It is normal that you would be feeling physically drained all the time. I’d advise that you take it slow. Don’t try to take on a week’s task in one day. Take it slow, breathe and take a day off if you have to. Organising your tasks in a hierarchy of importance is a great way to start. Do those tasks that are closest to their deadlines. Learn to say no to new tasks if you lack the mental strength to pull it off on time. Now is the time to stay extra focused on what matters the most. But remember to take it slow.
Create new routines: Consider scheduling your time in blocks with frequent breaks to help manage your emotions. Time management is key to staying productive whether you are working from home or in an office. Take breaks to just breathe. If you try to neglect what you are going through by focusing too much on work, you would not heal properly and your work wouldn’t be as efficient as it would normally be. Factoring in new routines and rituals during a crisis can be very helpful. If you were used to staying home all day, you can opt to learn a new skill, language or hang out with friends. This would help you feel positive, motivated and more productive.
Practice self-care: it is definitely not the end of the world. So do not neglect your physical, mental or emotional well-being. It is normal that when you are in a crisis and under stress you would feel frustration, fatigue, anger, self-pity, depression, fear and other negative emotions. But in times like this, do not neglect self-care. More than ever, it is important that your well-being is a priority. I would advise you to eat healthily, avoid the use of alcohol and other substances and stay away from negative energies or people who talk in the negative. You should also exercise; exercising can make you feel energetic and happy. Remember to always take time out to rest. Engage in self-calming practices like yoga, intentional breathing and breathing exercises. You should also learn to meditate. There are also other practices that can help reduce stress levels by helping you relax and quiet the mind.
Delegate: you might want to let your employees handle a few tasks on their own, without you micromanaging them. This is the time to get as much help as you can. Seek help from team members. Learn to accept assistance instead of trying to do things on your own. Let your spouse pick the kids up from school if he has the free time. Allow your relatives to help out with a few chores. You already have enough to worry about. You should leave a few things in the hands of people you can trust.
Do not neglect opportunities: you know the saying that there is sunshine at the end of a tunnel? A crisis can birth to new opportunities. It all depends on how you approach it. If you are stuck at home because you can’t go to work due to a national crisis, it is an opportunity for you to tick one or two things off your to-do list. Do something that you have been willing to do but have not found the time or opportunity to do. You can take up a language class, cut your hair or finally learn how to swim or play a new sport. Sort out that home bookshelf you always wanted to sort out. Learn how to cook, try out new recipes, reach out to that friend you haven’t heard from in a long time.
Finally, help someone else. I have found that when you help someone get through a tough patch while you are down, it motivates you to be happy and energetic once again. In times of crisis, remember that you are not alone. Everyone is experiencing the same thing at the same time. Reach out to family members, neighbours and colleagues at work.